No. 55: 50 More Pieces of Joy

A Simple List of Happiness

The most popular diary came last year, during a particularly difficult time in my life, where I forced myself to sit down and write down 50 things that brought me joy.

The sheer act of doing so lifted me out of my fog and revealed the power of naming sources of happiness, big and small. It seemed to do the same for readers too, who wrote in with their own pieces of joy.

New year and no better time to make a new blissful list.

So here it is.

My current 50 Pieces of Joy.

1. Four Bernese Mountain Dog puppies currently lording over our house. The runt of the litter is a scrawny little boy, who at 7am and 7pm each day, unleashes a 5-second long war cry to remind us — and himself — that he is still here.

2. I’ve discovered that I find redheads innately comforting.

3. Looking at YOUNG WORLD’s finished manuscript and the 2+ years of all-consuming work and pain it required… and somehow remembering none of it. Like it was all just a dream.

4. Every weekday morning at 6:30 or 7am, I spar on a tennis court with D-1 college players from Washington University or St. Louis University and it gives me a deep, primal happiness. The sheer intensity and athleticism of the games, the way it forces me to step up my gym training, the intergenerational connection and genuine friendships… It’s kept me young.

5. Related: I know these tennis bouts are ephemeral. One day, covering the court against an aggro 20 year-old each morning will no longer be possible. So I savor every moment now.

6. At Harvard, my senior year, I took a class called Gender & Pop Culture, which was known as a “gut” — slang for an easy, no-effort course that guaranteed an ‘A’ with minimal work. But I actually cared and went full-bore, writing a 25-page final paper on Madonna’s “Bedtime Story” video, which I still think is one of the best things I’ve ever written.

The professor called me into her office, a 70-something wild-haired, punk rock provocateur, and said “I honestly don’t know why you worked so hard on this and I’m giving you an A+ just so everyone knows you went over-the-top. But I didn’t call you in to talk about your paper. I called you in because I think you have an interesting soul and I don’t want it compromised so I’m going to give you the most important advice anyone will ever, ever give you.” She looked me in the eye. “Never, ever, marry a scorpio.”

7. My farmer partner is a Scorpio.

8. Every Sunday, when I’m at the farm with my partner, we go to Walmart and buy 4 scratch-off lottery tickets. Then we leave them on the dining room table and see how long we can delay instant gratification before we give up and scratch them all off at once.

9. We never win anything big. And yet, we refer to the act of buying these lottery tickets as “our peace and happiness.”

10. The unapologetic horniness of White Lotus.

11. The #1 female tennis player in the world is named Iga Swiatek, who is imperious, disciplined, and nearly impossible to beat. Almost no one on the women’s tennis tour has a winning record against her.

Except Jelena Ostapenko. This cherub-faced, slow-moving, mischievous Latvian, ranked #27 in the world, holds a 5-0 record against Iga and destroys her every time they play.

No one can explain it.

12. Anne Rice’s much-forgotten novel, but unquestionably her best: Cry to Heaven.

13. A seed-and-fennel digestive mix called Chikka Chikka which I snack on after meals. Tastes great, makes your breath smell like honey, and nixes any bloating. Age-old Indian recipe and it works.

14. Some people have late night shopping binges, eating binges, and all kinds of other midnight sprees. My partner’s late night bad habit is buying cows.

15. When I had the worst flu last month, I watched 44 episodes of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City over 3 days. I felt ashamed until I heard John Oliver call it the best show on television.

16. Speaking of the flu, there’s an intensity to a fever which certainly didn’t bring me joy, but now in retrospect I admire. Your emotions ignite to a mushroom cloud, every fear and resentment and trauma cyclones, and it truly feels like you’re on the precipice of madness… And then the fever lifts and all you feel is it’s strange, discomfiting absence.

17. During a tough stretch last year, my trusty companion was The Tennis Podcast, my favorite podcast because of the commitment of its hosts, who’ve dedicated their lives to insider reporting on the sport. Also, the sheer love between them, which is so pure and infectious that sometimes I feel my heart swell just listening to them banter.

Well, turns out that one of the host’s daughter was a School for Good and Evil fan and noticed that I name a whole lot of minor characters after low-ranked tennis players…

Which led to this photo here, where I got to meet the hosts at the U.S. Open and spend time with them. I said, without irony: “You three are my Taylor Swift.”

18. One more tennis story and I promise I’m done. There is an Italian female tennis player named Camila Giorgi, who was exceptionally beautiful and talented and successful, but then abruptly quit the tour and disappeared because she was found guilty of tax evasion in Italy and fled from authorities. No one could find her.

That is, until my younger brother texted me this photo of her playing with her new boyfriend at a tennis club in Texas. A photo I showed to the podcasts hosts when we met.

One of them gasped. “She’s supposed to be on the run!”

19. PQ Wax Earplugs — they absolutely seal out every possible sound and make sleeping anywhere feel like a sensory deprivation tank

20. I don’t tolerate caffeine well, but twice a week, right after tennis, I go to First Watch in St. Louis and get a cold brew with oat milk and two sugars, which I drink about a quarter of, simply because it just tastes so damn good. The ensuing heart pump and surge of nervous energy I find a terrible side-effect, which makes me wonder if I’m the only person on earth who truly drinks coffee for the taste.

21. St. Louis Magazine released its much-anticipated 2025 list of things to do in the city. The cover image and #1 was: “Daily nonstop flights to Puerto Vallarta.”

This still makes me laugh.

22. Haldi doodh, the Hindi term for hot milk with turmeric, the surest way to beat back a cold or illness right when it’s starting.

Photo from Swasthi’s Recipes.

23. There are two carwashes in the small farm town where my partner lives. One is the good carwash, a no-nonsense, soundless sandblast, that absolutely scours and spiffs up your car to the max. The other is a cosmic, fluorescent light-show that is sparkly and glittery but pretty pitiful in its thoroughness and leaves your car streaked and dirty.

Guess which one I go to?

24. My friend got an Adderall prescription in New York City and when he tried to fill it was told it was unavailable and that he’d have to call every pharmacy every morning to see if anyone snuck an extra shipment in. I stared at him. “There’s no Adderall in New York City?” His response: “Whole city’s a black market!”

25. We have 5 stray barn cats that roam around the farm. One of them likes to ride on the back of cows whenever it gets cold.

26. Instagram reels of Bora Bora

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A post shared by @visit_borabora

27. Going to a book festival and seeing author friends who have lasted 10+ years and it’s that weary, knowing look you share that somehow we’ve made a career out of this against all odds and it’s only a matter of time before the clock strikes midnight

28. When I get into my flow on the farm for 2 or 3 days at a time and simply stop looking at my phone. And realize… I don’t really need it.

29. How much Kara Swisher trashes Mark Zuckerberg on the podcast Pivot.

30. That Chappell Roan has a new album coming.

31. On the subject of pop stars, I loved how every time there was a big gala show with huge production budget and spectacle — Olympics Closing Ceremony, Grammys, etc. — Billie Eilish showed up in cargo shorts and a hat and no set, no dancers, no nothing, and won the night with her voice.

32. Lady, our Bernese Mountain Dog who gave birth to the 4 puppies, did a remarkable job during pregnancy and during these early weeks of nursing, cleaning and taking care of them. The one thing she didn’t do so well? Labor. On the night she was due to give birth, she started contractions and rapid breathing… Then stopped, stood up, and tarted wagging her tail as if nothing had happened. Twelve hours later, she was in surgery for a C-section.

“What happened?” we asked the vet.

“Young mom,” she said. “Sometimes they’re just not really into the giving birth part.”

33. That we keep developing and disposing potential covers for YOUNG WORLD. On the one hand… ugh. But on a deeper level… gratifying. The whole point of this book is that there’s no comp. That we’re inventing a genre. Finding the right cover will take some invention too.

34. That the White House demanded Ukrainian President Zelensky show up in a suit to meet with Trump and he showed up in a skin-tight, black military t-shirt that looked like something Evil Spiderman would wear.

35. Sometimes when I’m stressed, I just go sit amongst the 4 puppies and they crowd onto my lap and chest and try to nurse on anything they can find. I find myself giggling, pulling them off me, saying “Buddy, buddy!” to calm them down, and all of a sudden, I’ve forgotten any problems in my life.

36. Whether it’s coaching high school basketball or building his farm, my partner likes to move at a slow and steady pace. Whereas I want him to accrue and consolidate power and dominate the world, which has earned me the nickname of Lady Macbeth. I remind him Lady Macbeth is a diva and glamorous and an icon. He reminds me that she dies and her husband loses his head.

37. January is Goat Baby month, where over 100 goat babies are born on our farm. The only problem is that my partner and I both had the flu and then our dog had puppies via C-section, which required 24/7 supervision, meaning no one could actually get up to the barn to check on the goats.

When we did, 14 had already been born — but we couldn’t figure out which babies went with which mom. An essential part of the process so you can separate them into pens and give them time to bond.

For the first time in a decade, my partner gave up and said he’d just leave them all together and hope they worked it out.

Thirty days later, the goats and their babies are healthier than ever.

Nature did its thing.

38. The last bull we had on the farm was slightly gay. Meaning he preferred the company of male calves and didn’t like flies and had allergic reactions where he lost patches of fur and generally seemed too sensitive and ill-equipped for this world (literally my spirit animal) — but also not a productive source of sperm and genetics for the farm. So my partner let that bull roam freely in open pasture while he got a new one to impregnate the females.

This bull was literally the cow version of Patriarchy. He arrived on the farm with a bellowing roar, then wrecked the females’ hay bales, peed all over them and roared again to tell all the heifers in sight that this was now his land.

The girls roared back and stood their ground.

Thirty days later, all of them were pregnant.

39. There is no stress or overthinking that 40 minutes of calm, steady laps in a pool cannot solve.

40. When my friend Skyler didn’t show up for dinner in New York City with me and our mutual friend Louis at 7pm, I started to panic. He hadn’t texted in 24 hours, he was 25 minutes late, and neither of these were like him. I started panicking — should we call his other friends? His Instagram mutuals? Do a wellness check? Louis was unperturbed: “It’s fine. Can we order the food?”

In St. Louis, I said, I would have called the police by now.

“Mmmm, not St. Louis. This is NYC, babe,” Louis said. “It’s fine.”

Ten minutes later, Skyler showed up.

41. My farmer partner loves going to the movies but is suspicious of my taste because he likes down-the-middle, warmly emotional and uplifting stories and I like anything a little transgressive, dangerous and weird.

But I promised to do better and find things he’d like.

So the next two movies I took him to were… Poor Things and Anora.

42. I did so much research for YOUNG WORLD and spent so much time in the mindset of a President… that part of me secretly fantasizes… about… being one.

43. Kids ask me what job I would want to do if I wasn’t an author. Easy. I’d love to be a matchmaker.

44. There’s another secret career I’ve wanted to do. Which is coach teenagers. I’ve talked about this a lot — that in this day and age, teenagers need a third-party coach beyond their parents and teachers who can help teens manage school, sports, friendships, relationships, their phones, and all the other challenges of a 2025 life while minimizing anxiety and stress. For the first time I have a plan on how to start this and it’s become my secret side project that brings me a whole lot of joy when I’m not writing. Stay tuned.

45. The thought of the School for Good and Evil film & TV rights coming back to me in a couple years and all the things that could be done with them…

46. A long, red feather coat I bought as a Yallfest costume but now wear everywhere, because in St. Louis, a place where no one wants to draw attention, this coat demands it. My farmer partner rolls his eyes anytime someone compliments it: “Please don’t encourage him!”

Meanwhile, the very straight bro waiter at our last restaurant: “I’ll comp your meal for that jacket.”

47. Our baby mini-donkey that arrived on our farm by immaculate conception or something like it last year, after we thought our female donkey Gloria was infertile and our male donkey Buster was shooting blanks. Only thing is, the baby isn’t much of a looker. Hairy-eared, wobble-legged, beady-eyed. So we had trouble finding a name. Until my partner woke up one day, with a mischievous gleam. “His name… is Genghis.”

48. Now that YOUNG WORLD is done, I just finished Chapter 1 of my next book. Oh man, what a rush when you’re telling a story you’re ready for. I feel this one in my veins.

49. My farmer partner tears up any time one of his basketball players writes him a letter or a text to tell him what a wonderful coach he is. “It’s stupid,” he says. “I shouldn’t get so emotional about it.” I just smile. How do I tell him? That these are his 50 pieces.

50. After a stretch of subzero days, St. Louis had a 24-hour warm spell where the temps soared to 75-degrees before it would plunge back down to freezing. In the old days, my ascetic self would have ignored a freak warm day, so as not to get tempted by it and I’d have stayed inside for most of it, to remind myself it was still winter and to foolishly go out and savor the day would just mean renewed misery on the other side.

Something in me has changed in the last two years.

So on this hot winter day, I went out into the park and watched all the shirtless runners and frolicking dogs and people in t-shirts throwing frisbees and having picnics… while I just lay my head back and basked in the sun.

Your turn.

Tell me your pieces of joy!