I have struggled with how to process and feel when bad things happen. My mind and body wants to fix it and my heart (spirit? soul?) wants to marinate in it for awhile. I nearly died 2 years ago and even now I still wonder at all the "what ifs". What if I died? What if I was disabled? What if someone blamed themselves? What if no one was there to...etc.?
The marinating part of it is harder to explain. Yes, I think of all the choices I could have made (and those I didn't) and I consider the ideas and experiences that brought me to where I am now. I hope those have changed me for the better.
I try to be better; do better. But, that experience will always be traumatic for me.
As in both life and writing, we try to rationalise everything, as if they are all meant to be and connected by some sort of fate! I can't agree more, since that's exactly why I like reading - everything makes sense, and everything has a reason for it. The comfortable in that.
But then when I'm writing, I love adding the sense that anything happening to us isn't always meaningful to it. Somebody stabbed the protagonist in the back, despite the two being friends or something cliche like that. But does that mean that "somebody" is bad? Maybe they had reasons? Maybe they have some sort of personality disorders or psychopathic traits? Maybe the protangonist lost their judgment and hung out with the wrong people from the beginning? Maybe that was a complete accident or misunderstanding that will end up making no sense at all? "Truth" is relative depending on the perspective you take, and sometimes with the "wrong" perspectives there can be no truth at all, just things that happened. It is fun and frustrating at the same time, because it's such a natural tendency that we play around with the puzzle pieces until it becomes something that makes sense, even if it means distorting how things happened in our head with our imaginations - what we see in media and what we like to see can be so different because of that psychological process. Might be going on a tangent here but such a thing to think about! I love writing about psychological processes like that.
That said, I was also so horrified reading the first bit of today's entry 😭 I'm so glad you were able to share it as a message along with reflection of your experiences, but hope you're doing well and take care as well! Be safe! I'm really looking forward the stories you're telling this time!
The former first line for that SGE book was awesome in my opinion, but I can see how that would have probably not fit for many readers.
I am intrigued by the role and form violence will take in your new world. Would it also include betrayal? (Violence from betrayal)
In my writing, I have struggled to write "bad things" because I would feel guilty not writing something good and lovely, but I am breaking out of that and including it my stories. Mostly to develop my characters or to cause an obstacle that needs to be overcome.
Also, I had a feeling fate and predestination (THAT word) ruled the Woods! I was just thinking of that a few days ago. Does that mean that total free will doesn't exist or is frowned upon?
As a former Texan, I TOTALLY agree about breakfast tacos and barbecue. Salt & Smoke has the best, and closest to Texas-like, brisket. It's so good!
I have struggled with how to process and feel when bad things happen. My mind and body wants to fix it and my heart (spirit? soul?) wants to marinate in it for awhile. I nearly died 2 years ago and even now I still wonder at all the "what ifs". What if I died? What if I was disabled? What if someone blamed themselves? What if no one was there to...etc.?
The marinating part of it is harder to explain. Yes, I think of all the choices I could have made (and those I didn't) and I consider the ideas and experiences that brought me to where I am now. I hope those have changed me for the better.
I try to be better; do better. But, that experience will always be traumatic for me.
I'm glad you're okay and didn't get hit by that car!!
As in both life and writing, we try to rationalise everything, as if they are all meant to be and connected by some sort of fate! I can't agree more, since that's exactly why I like reading - everything makes sense, and everything has a reason for it. The comfortable in that.
But then when I'm writing, I love adding the sense that anything happening to us isn't always meaningful to it. Somebody stabbed the protagonist in the back, despite the two being friends or something cliche like that. But does that mean that "somebody" is bad? Maybe they had reasons? Maybe they have some sort of personality disorders or psychopathic traits? Maybe the protangonist lost their judgment and hung out with the wrong people from the beginning? Maybe that was a complete accident or misunderstanding that will end up making no sense at all? "Truth" is relative depending on the perspective you take, and sometimes with the "wrong" perspectives there can be no truth at all, just things that happened. It is fun and frustrating at the same time, because it's such a natural tendency that we play around with the puzzle pieces until it becomes something that makes sense, even if it means distorting how things happened in our head with our imaginations - what we see in media and what we like to see can be so different because of that psychological process. Might be going on a tangent here but such a thing to think about! I love writing about psychological processes like that.
That said, I was also so horrified reading the first bit of today's entry 😭 I'm so glad you were able to share it as a message along with reflection of your experiences, but hope you're doing well and take care as well! Be safe! I'm really looking forward the stories you're telling this time!
The former first line for that SGE book was awesome in my opinion, but I can see how that would have probably not fit for many readers.
I am intrigued by the role and form violence will take in your new world. Would it also include betrayal? (Violence from betrayal)
In my writing, I have struggled to write "bad things" because I would feel guilty not writing something good and lovely, but I am breaking out of that and including it my stories. Mostly to develop my characters or to cause an obstacle that needs to be overcome.
Also, I had a feeling fate and predestination (THAT word) ruled the Woods! I was just thinking of that a few days ago. Does that mean that total free will doesn't exist or is frowned upon?